New (Furry) Management
From Bearsley's facebook: On Janurary 29th, after BELIEVE XXIV, the terms were finalized for the seizure of the entirety of Team HAMMA FIST's assets by Bearsley Enterprises, LLC. From this point forward, all properties associated with the THF brand, including talent contracts, merchandise, and championships, are now under the sole ownership of Bearsley, who has been appointed the Chief Executive Bear of Team HAMMA FIST. This takeover of THF by BE, LLC came about as a result of Bearsley pinning the then Hamma Fist Champion Maxwell Chicago at a Vintage Wrestling event, thus technically becoming the new champion, and the subsequent reluctance of Team HAMMA FIST to officially recognize Bearsley as champion and reward him with the Hamma Fist Championship. According to reports, the terms of the settlement were either the forfeit of the THF assets, the forfeit of THF member Jesse Long's baby, or $20. In one of his first acts as THF's new CEB, Bearsely has declared himself the new Hamma Fist Champion, and will reportedly be defending it against any and all comers.
Fuckmart
I hate Walmart so much. I had one fucking item in my hand and was waiting in a line that was 4 carts deep. A new line opens up, I hustle over, but just as I got there, "MAMUUUH!" a young fat grease child cuts me off with two carts full of junk food as he grunts for his even fatter mother, who was speaking a language I can only assume was based off of English. I don't know, I left my English to Trash dictionary at home. I have one thing on me, they have enough junk food to fuel a mid 90's kids movie where the parents vanish and leave a ragtag group of youngsters a blank check and the keys to a minivan. Do they offer me the chance to go ahead of them? Of course not, that would require them to take their eyes off their caramel coated pork rinds and use at least some of their collective third of a brain. Fuck you you fat fucks, I hope your feet fall off.
Even the parking lot was retarded.
As all this is going on, I couldn't help but get "America, Fuck Yeah!" stuck in my head.
- Mr. Long
New Unified Florida Champion!
At Vintage Wrestling's "Night of Florida Champions" event this past Saturday (5/22/10), the IWA Puerto Rico Heavyweight Champion QT Marshall defeated, albeit controversially, Raymond Snow to win both the Hamma Fist People's and SCW Florida Heavyweight Championship to become the new Unified Florida Heavyweight Champion.
And just to make sure I say "champion" enough times...
Champion, championship, champions, champeen, campeones, champ, champagne, Cameron Manheim.
Don't worry, Snow will totally win the belt back. Oh no, spoylerz~!
- Mr. Long
Good news and bad news.
Bad news:
Reports from BELIEVE XVII are that the Unified Florida Heavyweight Champion, Team HAMMA FIST member Raymond Snow was recently hospitialized due to a bad reaction to a new medication. I speak for all of Team HAMMA FIST, as well as the entire Florida wrestling community, when I wish The Killing Machine a safe, speedy, and healthy recovery. Love ya big man.
Good news:
It is my honor to officially welcome the newest official member of Team HAMMA FIST, one of Florida top breakout stars, Nooie Lee! Let us all throw our hands into the air with excitement.
- Mr. Long
SNOMFG~!
This past Saturday at BELIEVE XII, Raymond Snow defeated Chasyn Rance to become the first ever Unified Hamma Fist Florida Champion. Huge congrats to The Killing Machine!
Episode 50 is up
Head on over to feed://teamhammafist.com/HFPO/HFPOpodcast.xml and grab up The Final Powa Owa. It's been a fun ride. Thanks for listening.
- Mr. Long
The 50th and Final Powa Owa
Yes it's true, as mentioned earlier by King Leon (here), the upcoming 50th episode of Team HAMMA FIST Presents The Powa Owa will be our final episode. Fret not fan(s?), Team HAMMA FIST isn't going anywhere, we just can't find the time to tape a show that five people listen to.
Since this is the last episode, rest assured that The Powa Owa will go out with a bang. Already on board for the show are The Hamma Fist Champion Raymond Snow, King Leon Scott, and a HUGE surprise guest. All signs point to this being the greatest thing in the history of the webernets.
Expect the show to be published sometime next Monday (June 8th).
- Mr. Long
THF invades PWE
Well, kinda. As announced earlier today on FloridaIndies.com by the one and only Leon Scott, the name of his team in the main event of tonight's PWE show will be Team Hammered Fist.
All hail King Leon.
- Mr. Long